Been awhile.
I was thinking about deleting my whole site, but I decided to keep it.
I rather keep it because I want to see how I changed over the years. When I look back through my years in high school to the beginning, I saw a fat and chubby asian child. Still childish in many ways and had a selfish outlook in life. Who would have thought that kid was me? A part of my head still thinks, "No way, that couldn't be me." 
But it was. Justin should know it better than anyone. I was stupid. I'm still stupid, but at least I am getting better.
I was easily picked on. Whenever I made a friend, that same friend would turned his back after learning of my reputation. No one would hang out with someone that gets picked on and is socially labelled as a loser. It is not their fault. Anyways, back then I didn't think about it like that back then. I just thought people were assholes and the whole world needs to blow up. I know alot of people think like that. But hey, it's not their fault... I think. As I look at myself now, I see a completely different person. Though same in some aspects, the thought processes that go thru my head, my ways of viewing things, my actions, my intentions all have changed. Once I could have lived alone in the world. Now I can't. I guess that's a side-effect of changing to be a better person. Justin started ignition for my change. Even though I was changing, the progress was slow. The time I went to Riverside Military Academy (RMA) near Lanier gave me a small boost. It gave me a chance to see more people and their views and characters. The fact that I also started from College Prep level classes and advanded to IB-level also showed me many people. Thanks to Justin, I was able to accomplish that. However, back then, all of those things I've learned never sinked in though. That was why I never seemed to learn. Justin thought I was an idiot. Yes I was. Never accepting my own faults, never listening with open ears. I was at my temporary peak. That was until I met another signifigant person in my life. Her name was Thanhthao Lam. My total change was put together by myself, but my guide was her. During the time Justin was in depression was the same time I was under tremendous stress of change. I could not help anyone. I'm sorry. I know seemed like an asshole to alot of people at the time, especially Justin. First semester, change was light. Second semester, the change and stress was at the peak. That was why I seemed lazy in Math Class and always staring off into space. I didn't want to talk to anyone. No one. I went through the change alone, with Thanh being my guide at times. During my relationship with her, I've always questioned why did I love her so. I thought it was because I thought she was my type and she was pretty. That's was not it. I had a deeper reason. Our whole relationship is complicated. I was not lying about that facebook profile. IT WAS COMPLICATED. I put so much stress on her as well. I cry myself to death because of that. She was willing to go through with it, she wanted to help, but all I do is put more and more stress on her. I was afraid. "I wanted this is end." I thought. She cries and cares so much about me. Yet, what could I do. I was pitiful. The change accelerated as we went on. She began to stop crying as much. I began changing my character and my thoughts. As it became closer to the month of May, she gave me one final push. After she left for Vietnam, she told me, "A lot of things can happen in a month, Michael." How right she was. Prom almost became a disaster. Justin may not have gone. I did everything to get him to go. Then he blows it off like nothing while I was driving. I understood. I just was mad at his rudeness and how everything just had to be that way. John tried to help out. Ran a red light. Then we almost did not make it home on time. If I did not whine about bowling, we may have stayed their until after 11:30. Then we'd be screwed. Oh well. So goes prom. When I thought about it again after I got back home, I came to many conclusions. I learned from that experience. I learned how to read people's thought process, or at least predict them. I became more conscious of them. Now when I see Justin, Amy or anyone I can now predict their thought processes. Justin cannot hide his emotions anymore. But I see now, he's thought about that prom incident. I guess he's also sorry for being rude at the time too when I was trying my hardest to keep things from going hellish. I don't mind anymore. It's what best friends do, right?
Another thing I learned was how to vent my emotions in a subtle form. I bet I seemed a lot calmer to people nowadays right? I hope. I guess I also seem more uncaring too?
I learned many more things. Even accepting other people's words and thoughts.
I've also started listening to other people's comments and sayings.
All that was left was my family. I've always told my mom that Julia needs more attention. That was the main reasons of most of the arguments we get ourselves into. Finally, my family realizes this. Now, the house is at peace. Finally, after 17.8 years unrest, I managed to get it to operate like a normal family. Sort of. She was right. A lot of things did happen. As I look back, I remembered one prediction/promise I said to her and to myself, "When I graduate High School, I will have completely reformed myself. I will be able to fully walk on my own and be ready to show the world who I really am." I said that at 12:00 one night. Right before I fell asleep... on the phone. Weird huh? I thought about it again, why I loved Thanh so much. Now I know the answer. I saw her as a person who was socially capable of almost anything, the ideal person I was trying to become.
Now that I've become that kind of person with my own touches of "Michael-isms," what is going to happen between us? When she comes back from Vietnam, how will she react? I do not know. All I know is that I've finished my change. My real purpose in life is about to show itself in front of me. That's my story so far. I hope this clears up many things. Especially Justin's question is now answered. Thanks everyone. | 
